I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
