I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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