i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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