I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
