dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize