so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
