Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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