ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
