so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
