Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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