I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
