So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
