Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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