And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
birth control should be required to get into college
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So vagazzling was a success
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
