The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
