ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
