Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
