I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
