He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
