Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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