Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Dear god my vagina.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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