I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
