i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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