Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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