Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
