I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
