I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
