Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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