Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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