fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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