It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
They took my balls.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
