Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
