I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
