Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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