your thong is hanging out like whoa
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize