i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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