five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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