Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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