Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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