Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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