I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
