I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
