matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
