I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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