Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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