In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The air was thick with penises
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
