Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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