you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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