he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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