Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
