People in love make me want to vomit
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
