i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize