I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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