about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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