I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
