he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Randomize
