I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
