Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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