Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
