So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
